It's hard for me to believe that we've just about finished our conversation circles for the semester. During my conversation circle on Monday I was thinking a lot about the way our group dynamic has changed since September. All of the girls in my group are still gregarious, still talkative, and still make an effort to be there - this was one of the things I was most thankful for in September and continue to be thankful for during our conversations each week. Yet something about our group dynamic has shifted as we've gotten to know each other: Our group dynamic has brought us more together as a group. This happened almost imperceptibly, I think; I can't remember a specific moment when I realized that we were a group, each equal members in our conversation and peers in our time spent together. This was not something that I was expecting to happen; I worried at the beginning of the semester that I would play the role of the facilitator for the entire semester rather than a participant. But on Monday I really realized how we all genuinely cared about each other, how we were comfortable joking and laughing together because we had become friends.
As I write this it seems kind of cheesy, but it feels like the good kind of cheesy. The kind of cheesy that makes you feel good and warm and like you've done something worthwhile.
This has been a wonderful experience for me, and I enjoyed it more than I thought I was going to at the beginning of the semester. Rather than being a burden in my schedule, my conversation circles, and our class discussions, have become a way for me to de-stress and a way to continue my learning in a really concrete way. I've learned so much about how people interact with one another, about my own biases and stereotypes, and ultimately how I can make this campus environment more welcoming to International students. What's most exciting to me about this is that it directly relates to my interest in social justice and the work that I do on this campus to make it a more integrative community. I've learned about where each of these students is coming from; I've learned about their families, their struggles, their likes and dislikes, and with each session my understanding of my own privilege and my own place on campus is broadened. I leave sessions satisfied, which, if you had asked me in September, was not something I was expecting to feel at the beginning of this experience. Though unexpected, this satisfaction with my work has allowed me to get more out of it, to be more invested, and ultimately to build more lasting relationships with the members in my group.
When I asked whether or not my participants would want to do this again next semester, they all said that they would want to stick together as a group so that we could continue to have our weekly meetings. This was amazing to hear, and I look forward to all of our future conversations.
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